Transcript:Ghost in the Machines

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Transcript for
Ghost in the Machines
Written byN/A
Transcribed byAki


[Note: This transcript is based on the video from the Comedy Central relased video The Death of Bender of 28 June, 2011.]
[Scene: The Planet Express employee lounge. Leela, Amy, Hermes and Fry walks in through the door. Fry is removing some sort of yellow dust from his jacket.]

Fry: It sure was nice of the mayor's wife to have sex with me. [Fry sees something before him and stops.] Huh?

[Bender is standing in front of him, looking angry.]

Bender: You...

Fry: What?

[While talking, Bender walks up to Fry and angrily pokes him in the chest with his finger.]

Bender: You could have saved a robot, but instead you saved a human. You think human life is more important than robot life?

Fry: No, no... well, yes, actually.

[Bender gasps in chock, then turns away from Fry. Behind Fry, Leela and Hermes are sitting in the couch, and Amy sits on the floor, all watching Fry's and Bender's fight. Hermes is reading a magazine entitled "Podcast Digest".]

Bender: That's it, I'm killing myself!

Bender: [Bender is still turned away from the others.] Don't try to talk me out of it! [Waits for a second, then turns his head towards the others.] Well?

Amy [Amy is holding the remote to the television set.] Bender, you always say you're going to kill yourself, but you almost never do.

Hermes Yeah. Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months.

Leela: [Leela is filing her nails.] How is Lynn, by the way?

Bender: Living in Oregon with her crazy mother. See you at my funeral, suckers!

[Bender leaves the room, but no one seems to care. Amy is looking at the television set, Leela is filing her nails, Fry is snoozing off and Hermes is reading "Podcast Digest".]
[Scene: A dirty New New York street with a suicide booth. Two posters on a brick wall has a picture of the Hypnotoad and the text "OBEY" in AL1. Bender walks up to the suicide booth and closes it.]
[Inside the suicide booth, Bender insert a coin with a string on it, retrieves it, and laughs.]

Bender: Kill me, please. [He retrieves the stringed coin into his chest compartment.] And make it splatter!

Suicide booth: With pleasure... Bender!

Bender: [Bender looks around, confused and somewhat frightened. Lynn? Huh, wow, you look great! [Bender laughs nervously.] Fat, but great. I thought you were in Oregon?

Lynn: My mom tried to commit suicide in me. I don't wanna talk about it.

Bender: Well, tell your mom I said hello, and... it's been nice catching up with you. Now let's get this show on the road!

Lynn: Oh, no. You're going to die, alright. But it won't be suicide... it will be murder!

[A musical sting is played, and the camera shows the frightened Bender close-up.]
[Outside, the text "IN USE" lights up on the suicide booth, and it starts shivering. A woman with a grocery bag, who happens to walk by, looks at it. The suicide booth starts shaking more, and Bender yells in agony. The woman screams, drops her groceries and runs off. A number of gun shots pierce the suicide booth from within, as Bender screams, and then silences. The booth is still.

Bender [Bender is still off camera.] Missed me.

The booth starts shaking again, and more shots are fired. Bender yells out the last sound of a dead robot. The booth is yet again still.]
[Scene: The street outside the Planet Express headquarters. A hovercar with a logo entitled "DeadEx" backs towards the door, then throws out a metal casket onto the street. The main theme of the funeral march in Chopin's 2nd piano sonata is honked, and the hovercar drives off.]