Transcript:The Day the Earth Stood Stupid

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Transcript for
The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Written byJeff Westbrook
David X. Cohen
Transcribed byThe Neutral Planet
[Opening Credits. Caption: 80% Entertainment By Volume.]
[Scene: A planet, Tweenis 12 hangs in the void of space. Glowing cracks appear on the surface. There are several explosions and the planet explodes, the shockwave and debris flying out in all directions. A group of glowing, flying brains fly away from what is left of the planet. A caption tells us Tweenis 12 was one day's brain flight from Earth.]
[Scene: Madison Cube Garden. The Planet Express staff are at a pet show. There are stalls selling cream, Soylent Chow, Kibbles 'n' Snouts and flea collars for giant fleas. Leela carries Nibbler and a big purple bag over her shoulder.]

Amy: Is Nibbler stoked for the big pet show?

Leela: He ought to be with all the strict training I've been putting him through. [She puts Nibbler down and takes a whole joint out of the bag.] Nibbler, roll over and you get a ham. [Nibbler doesn't move.] Roll over. Roll over for the ham. [Nibbler chirps and licks his leg and arm.] You are so adorable! Who wants a ham?

[He takes it and swallows it whole. Farnsworth reads a pamphlet.]

Farnsworth: Zooka barooka! First prize is $500 and a year's supply of dog food!

Bender: "$500", you say?

Zoidberg: "Dog food", you say?

[He licks his tendrils.]
[Time Lapse. The sheep herding trial has begun. A collie herds four sheep into a pen and the staff watch from the bleachers.]

Fry: Man, that's dog's gonna be hard to beat. Look at him bring in the sheep! One sheep, two sheep ... [He yawns.] ... three sheep.

[He falls asleep on Farnsworth's shoulder. Farnsworth carries on eating his popcorn.]

Leela: The dog's good, but our real competition is the Hypno-Toad. [The Hypno-Toad is a toad, almost the size of the sheep. It stares at them and it's eyes oscillate and buzz. The sheep walk in single file into the pen and one closes the gate behind it. The judges confer and the Hypno-Toad turns around and hypnotises them. They stare at it, open-mouthed and raise "10" cards. The crowd cheers. Leela stands at the side of the ring and puts Nibbler into it.] Your turn, Nibbler, honey. Herd those sheep!

[Nibbler scurries towards the bleating sheep and the staff eagerly watch.]

Amy: Come on, Nibbler!

[They cringe as Nibbler eats the sheep. He coughs up the bells.]

Bender: [to judge] Ma'am, I have a late entry: My hard-shelled wooping terrier, Mr. Zoidberg.

[Zoidberg stands on all-fours and wears a blue cape and a nappy. Bender whips him and he woops. He whips him again and Zoidberg woops and waves his claws in the air.]
[Time Lapse. The crowd cheers for Zoidberg and Bender. Zoidberg scurries through a tunnel with Bender whipping him as he goes.]

Bender: Faster! Faster.

[Zoidberg woops. He comes out of the tunnel, jumps on to a balance beam and somersaults across it. Bender hits him again.]

Zoidberg: Ow!

Bender: Suck in that gut! You wanna be spayed?

[Time Lapse. Zoidberg stands on a table and a judge inspects him. He looks in his mouth and then tickles his arm. Zoidberg laughs.]

Bender: Silence, you cur! Puff out that brisket!

[Time Lapse. Zoidberg dances for the judges in the talent competition and Bender watches from ringside.]

Bender: I should be weeping! I'm not weeping!

[He chases Zoidberg with the whip and the judges look at each other and shrug.]
[Time Lapse. Fry, Amy and Farnsworth wander around the rest of the arena and pass Glab with a unicorn-cat. Fry sees what looks like an invisible-dog-leash and laughs.]

Fry: I love these things!

[It's a real invisible dog and it bites Fry's ankle. He screams. A judge inspects Nibbler on a table.]

Leela: Shake paws, Nibbler. Come on, shake. [He doesn't.] He might be a little hungry. Shake, boy. Usually he's had more ham by now. Shake!

[Nibbler chirps and sees a kid with a pig-shaped balloon. He licks his lips and jumps onto the balloon, biting into it. It bursts and flies towards the roof. Nibbler falls from it and lands in a bowl of cream. The cream splashes over people and cats jump on them, making the people scream.]
[Time Lapse. The awards ceremony begins.]

Judge #1: Third prize, a party-sized keg of guinea pigs, goes to Dave Spiegel and his owner, Fluffers. [A human-sized cat strokes a cat-sized man. The crowd cheers and Fluffers stands on the podium.] Second prize, this lovely afghan made from an Afghan, goes to Bender and his wooping terrier.

Bender: Second place? [He pulls Zoidberg's choke chain.] That's a fancy word for losing. [He whips Zoidberg as he speaks.] You didn't stick your landing!

Zoidberg: Forgive me, my friend.

Bender: Never!

[He whips him again.]

Judge #1: And before we announce the winner we have a special award for a first-time contestant: Ms. Leela and her mystery pet, Nibbler!

[Leela gasps. The crowd applauds.]

Leela: Me? Award? Him? Me? Good?

Judge #1: That's just the kind of eloquence you'd expect from the owner of Dumbest Pet in Show. [He puts a conical hat on Nibbler with "Dumb" written down the middle of it. Everyone laughs.] And the grand prize winner ... [He looks at his notes and adjusts his glasses.] [monotonous] ... the Hypno-Toad. [The Hypno-Toad sits on the podium hypnotising the judge. The Hypno-Toad turns to the crowd and they clap in unison.] All glory to the Hypno-Toad.

[Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. Most of the staff sit around the conference table. Nibbler sleeps in Leela's arms. She sighs.]

Leela: Maybe they're right. Maybe Nibbler is dumb.

Fry: Don't listen to them, Leela. People said I was dumb, but I proved them.

[Enter Farnsworth.]

Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! We were supposed to make a delivery to the planet Tweenis 12 but it's been completely destroyed.

Leela: Why is that good news?

Farnsworth: They paid in advance.

[Comical twang. Bender bangs his chest.]

Bender: Excuse me.

Hermes: This is mighty strange. [He presses a remote control, the lights dim and a holographic display comes up on the table showing a series of planets.] First, the civilisation of Space Rome collapsed, then Don Martin 3 went kaflooie and now Tweenis 12.

[The three holographic planets are replaced with red X's.]

Fry: [pointing] Looks like this planet is next in line.

Leela: That's Earth. [Fry stares blankly.] The planet we live on.

Fry: I'd hate to be those guys.

[Nibbler starts sniffing. He jumps off Leela's lap and whimpers.]

Hermes: What's got into him? He's twitching like Zoidberg when someone mentions the word "food".

Zoidberg: [twitching] What, now?

[Cut to: Outside Planet Express. Nibbler jumps out of a window.]

Leela: [shouting] No! Nibbler, come back!

[Scene: Alley. Night has fallen. Leela enters the alley carrying another joint.]

Leela: Too bad Nibbler's not around. I guess I'll have to eat this raw, dripping ham by myself. [She sees a blue glow coming from a dumpster at the end of the alley.] Nibbler? [She walks closer to it.] Nibbler, you're scaring me. [The lid flips open and one of the brains comes out. Leela screams. She runs away and it chases her. Two more join it and she rolls under a fence. The brains bump into it. She sees Nibbler at the other end of the alley. He is dressed in a blue flight suit and is pulling a tiny spaceship out of a little shed. She gasps.] Nibbler? [He looks at her and climbs into the spaceship. There is a small hole in the roof for his third eye to go into.] Am I going crazy? Have my years of wild hedonism finally caught up with me? [Nibbler takes off and waves goodbye. The brains fly over the fence and Leela gasps.] [shouting] Nibbler, help! Don't leave me here. [Nibbler lands. Leela hurries into the ship and it blasts off again, knocking the brains out of the way. The ship flies around the Planet Express building and up into space.] Uh, Nibbler? Could you scooch the seat up just a little bit?

[Scene: The next morning the brains fly over New New York, turning buildings a glowing blue by zapping them with rays. Seven brains converge on the Planet Express building and turn it blue.]
[Cut to: Planet Express: Lounge. Bender sits on the couch mumbling and the room glows blue around him. Enter Fry.]

Fry: Leela back yet?

Bender: Fry, help me! My heart stopped beating!

Fry: You don't have a heart; you're a robot.

Bender: Sure ... right. Robot! [He looks at his arms.] Oh, Fry! My skin's all dry and clanky.

Fry: Well, yeah. Robots are made of metal.

Bender: Am I a robot?

Fry: Bender, if this is some kind of scam, I don't get it. You already have my power of attorney.

[He walks off towards the meeting room.]

Bender: Fry! [He gasps.] My skin!

[Scene: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Farnsworth has his head between the balls of a Newton's Cradle.]

Farnsworth: Ow. Ow. Ow. [Enter Fry.] I'm a genius. Ow. Ow.

[Fry passes through without saying anything.]
[Scene: Planet Express: Zoidberg's Office. Zoidberg crouches on the examination table. He sticks one of his tendrils out and tries to clack it with his claw. Enter Fry.]

Fry: Dr. Zoidberg, why is everyone acting so weird?

Zoidberg: Zoidy want balloon! Want balloon now! [He jumps around.] Zoidy want go outside!

Fry: [angry] I just let you back in!

[Scene: Nibbler's Ship. The ship flies through space. The ship is so small that Leela is squashed into the back. The whole top section is a transparent dome. Part of Leela's ponytail is caught in it and it blows in the wind outside.]

Leela: This is unbelievable. I thought you were a furry little moron. But here you are flying an adorable spaceship. If only you could talk. [Nibbler chatters.] Wait! I understood that! [He chatters again.] You say you're transmitting your thoughts directly to my brain. [He says something else.] You say those awful flying brains are making everyone on Earth stupid? [He says something else.] Oh, stupider. And you go on to say that we're headed for your home planet where your race has lived since the beginning of the universe? [Nibbler says something that sounds like "yes".] So, how did the universe begin? [Nibbler tells her.] Then the meaning of existence-- [Nibbler acknowledges.] So every religion is wrong!

[Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. Hermes stands in the emergency chemical burn shoulder with his mouth wide open, letting the water run into it. The door is open and there is a puddle of water on the floor. Fry closes his mouth and pushes his head forward.]
[Cut to: Planet Express: Lounge. Bender, Zoidberg, Amy and Farnsworth stare open-mouthed at the TV, though it isn't on. Fry sits on the couch and turns it on. Morbo spins around in his chair and Linda watches. He falls off and she laughs.]

Linda: [on TV] You fell! [She turns to the camera and waves.] Hi! Today some bad things happened. One bad thing was a train got crashed in New Jersey. Wanna see? [The picture cuts to footage of a flaming train wreck.] People won't be late for work though, because the governor lady said, [deeper voice] "I'm sending in more trains!"

[A train crashes into the wreckage and commuters run onto it.]

Woman: [on TV] Go!

Man: [on TV] Wait for me! Wait for me!

[The picture returns to the studio.]

Morbo: [on TV] Morbo can't understand his TelePrompTer. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.

Linda: [on TV] It's a "T". It goes "tuh".

Morbo: [waving; on TV] Hello, little man. I will destroy you!

[Fry turns the TV off.]

Fry: Man, even the news monster is acting strange. What are we gonna do?

Farnsworth: Duh, I know! Let's play the lottery!

Amy: No. Let's buy Internet stock!

Zoidberg: On margin! Zoidy wanna buy on margin!

[Hermes is wrapped in a towel on the other side of the room and holds a piece of wood in front of his face.]

Hermes: Look at me! I'm invisible!

Fry: Wait a minute! I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots!

Bender: Hey, let's all join the Reform Party!

[Everyone cheers.]

Hermes: Oh, yeah!

[They run out.]
[Scene: Nibbler's ship flies towards a planet called Planet Eternium which lies at the exact centre of the universe. The continents are shaped like love hearts. It lands outside a building called the Hall of Forever, ten miles west of the exact centre of the universe. The main part of the building is a dome with an eyestalk on top of it. Either side of the dome are two "Rosetta Stone" obelisks with both alien languages carved onto them.]
[Scene: Hall of Forever. Nine of Nibbler's race sit on raised chairs in a dark chamber. Enter Nibbler and Leela.]

Ken: Welcome back, Lord Nibbler, Ambassador to Earth, homeworld of the pizza bagel.

Nibbler: Thank you. I bear many receipts for reimbursement.

Fiona: The four welcomes of friendship to you as well, Leela. We shall manipulate your mind so we appear to be speaking your language. Do not be afraid, my child.

[She pulls the hood of her robe off her head. Her eyestalk has a little orange bow tied around it.]

Leela: I'm not afraid.

Fiona: Uh, good. Good.

Leela: So, your real name is Lord Nibbler? That's a coincidence.

Nibbler: That name is for your sake. In the time it would take to pronounce one letter of my true name, a trillion cosmoses would flair into existence and sink into eternal night.

[Leela laughs and pinches Nibbler's cheek.]

Leela: Oh, you're all so cute!

Ken: No, we're not. [He pulls his hood off.] We Nibblonians are an ancient and powerful race. Behold. [A hologram appears above his head and changes as he narrates.] When the universe was forged in the crucible of the Big Bang, our mighty race was already 17 years old.

Leela: Aww!

[Fiona growls. The hologram changes and shows a rocky planet with a lightning storm overhead.]

Ken: For the first millisecond of time, things were OK. But then there arose a terrible enemy: The Brain Spawn. [The Nibblonians chatter.] Ever since, we have waged unceasing war against these dreadful--

[A Nibblonian chef opens a door into the chamber.]

Nibblonian Chef: Lunch is ready.

Ken: Then let the feast of a thousand hams begin.

[Cut to: Outside Hall of Forever. Chewing and eating noises come from inside and the Nibblonians burp.]
[Cut to: Hall of Forever. Leela sits on the floor tickling Ken and Fiona like cats.]

Leela: So why are these Brain Spawn attacking Earth, Nibbler?

[Above Nibbler is a hologram of the Brain Spawn flying around New New York.]

Nibbler: The Brain Spawn hate all consciousness. The thoughts of others screech at them like the forced laughs of a billion art house movie patrons.

Ken: Thus, they travel from world to world making everyone stupid in order to wipe out all thought in the universe.

Leela: Wipe out all thought? My God! They're like flying televisions.

Fiona: And even we are powerless to stop them, fearsome though we are.

[She purrs.]

Nibbler: There is but one being who can resist them. A child of destiny whose bizarre brain wave pattern makes him immune to the Brain Spawn attack. [The hologram changes to Fry sitting in the Planet Express lounge looking at the soles of his feet.] He is the hope of the universe. [Leela gasps.] The fate of your world, perhaps all worlds, rests in his special mind.

Leela: Now, when you say "special"...

[Scene: Planet Express Balcony. Fry stands on the balcony looking at the carnage. Buildings burn in the distance, ships fall from the sky and cars crash in the street. A man crashes his car into a lamppost, opens the dome and slumps over dead. Fry picks up a bullhorn and talks into the wrong end.]

Fry: Attention, New New Yorkers. Stop acting so stupid!

[A bird lands on the other end and squawks into it. Fry screams and falls over.]
[Scene: A large, circular Nibblonian ship orbits the Earth and is flanked by lots of smaller ships.]

Ken: [on radio] Nibblonian fleet holding at perimeter of moron zone, formerly known as "Earth".

[Cut to: Nibblonian Ship. The command centre of the ship has a pink motif. Ken, Fiona and Nibbler all sit on one big love-heart-shaped chair in the middle of the room.]

Leela: Why would Fry be immune to the flying brains? Because he doesn't shower?

Fiona: The Brain Spawn suppress intelligence by attacking the delta brain wave. Every animal and robot in the universe generates this wave, as do certain trees.

Nibbler: Fry, however, does not.

Fiona: Somehow he has cobbled together a random assortment of other brain waves into a working mind.

Leela: Like a prom dress made from carpet remnants.

Nibbler: Yes, like your prom dress.

Ken: The Brain Spawn are commanded by a giant, evil brain with a gooey centre of pure hate.

Fiona: Only Fry, with his superior, yet inferior mind, can approach him. You must tell him to disable it. We will do the rest.

Leela: You can count on me.

Fiona: No, we can't. Once on Earth, you will be too stupid to remember the message.

[Ken nods.]

Nibbler: That's why we wrote it down for you.

[He pins the note to Leela's top.]

Ken: We've also prepared a bag lunch and some mittens.

[Scene: Planet Express: Attic Room. Hermes, Zoidberg, Amy and Farnsworth are lined up on the couch and Bender stands nearby. In front of them, Fry has set up a classroom. He has written "Fry's Dumb School" on a blackboard and there is a cardboard box in front of it.]

Fry: Time to re-educate you dunce-bags. We'll start with US presidents. [He takes a head in a jar out of the box.] This was our first president, George Washington. [The staff stare blankly. Amy twitches and Farnsworth scratches his head.] Let's review. Who was our first president?

Amy: Um.

Bender: A pickle jar?

Washington: Thomas Jefferson?

[There is a screeching sound from outside. Leela crashes through the window in Nibbler's ship. It glides to a halt and she steps out of the smoking wreckage.]

Fry: Leela! I've been so worried. Are you a bonehead?

Leela: I ... have to tell ... must ... important ... something--

Fry: Whoa, whoa! Slow down. You're going a mile a minute.

[Leela sees the note on her top, takes it off and hands it to him.]

Leela: This! You for this!

Fry: Thanks!

[He blows his nose on it, screws it up and throws it in the fire.]

Leela: No! [She runs over to it and puts her hand in the flame.] Ow! Fire hot.

Farnsworth: The professy will help! [He puts his hand in and his lab coat catches fire. He screams.] Fire indeed hot!

[Fry looks around and tips the water from Chester A. Arthur's jar over Farnsworth's arm. Arthur's head falls out and lands on the floor.]

Arthur: Oh! Chester A. Arthur fall down.

Leela: Brain. Brain make people dumb.

Fry: No, Leela. Brain make people smart.

[He taps his head. Behind him, two Brain Spawn appear in the broken window. Leela growls and turns him around. He sees the brains and screams.]

Leela: You go fight biggest brain of all.

Fry: Even bigger than those? Holy nuts! Where is it?

Leela: [shrugging] I 'unno!

Fry: Hm. A giant brain is basically a giant nerd. And where would a giant nerd be? [He gasps.] The libary!

[Scene: Outside New New York Public Library. Fry and Leela run up the steps and two Brain Spawn fly in and block their path. Fry forces them out of the way.]
[Scene: New New York Public Library Corridors. Fry and Leela run past a librarian trying to push a book onto a bookshelf sideways. They run past Reference Books, Books on Tapeworm and Stephen King: A - Aardvark. They come to a stop outside Ancient Literature. A purple glow comes from behind the door. Fry pushes the door ajar.]
[Cut to: New New York Public Library: Ancient Literature. A big brain hovers over a table, reading books.]

Big Brain: Pathetic human race. Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool, your decimal system has played right into my hands! [It laughs. Fry pushes the door wide open and he and Leela run in. Before the Big Brain can react, Fry has closed the door and Leela has tipped a bookshelf over so it blocks the door. It gasps.] What do you want?

Fry: I'm here to kick your ass.

Big Brain: Wishful thinking. We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses. [It flies up towards the ceiling and envelopes Fry's head in a blue glow.] Odd. My stupefaction field is having no effect on your ability to think.

Fry: That's right. And I think you'll find that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing! [He throws a book at the brain. It bounces of it harmlessly.] OK, better think of a new plan. Come on, Fry, think! [He rubs his temple.] Thinking ... thinking...

[There is a buzzing sound and the Brain shivers.]

Big Brain: Oh! Stop that!

Fry: Hey! Thinking hurts him. Maybe I can think of a way to use that. [The Brain groans again.] Aha! Prepare to be thought at. Leela, give me a topic.

Leela: Duh...

Fry: Seriously, I can't think of anything. [The Brain laughs, it's strength returning. Fry picks up some books.] Gotta find something to make me think. Hardy Boys, too easy. Nancy Drew, too hard. Aha! Perfect! Bonfire of the Vanities!

[He reads it and the buzzing returns. The Brain sinks into the corner of the room.]

Big Brain: No! It's unbearable!

[Cut to: Outside New New York Public Library. The Brain Spawn drop like flies.]
[Cut to: Nibblonian Ship. The Nibblonians watch this on a screen.]

Fiona: The brains are weakening. [She presses an intercom button.] Nibblonians to Nibble stations. Prepare cuddle bug for deployment in 40 nibblets.

[Nibbler sighs.]

Nibbler: Sometimes I fear we are cute.

Fiona: Oh, niggle-snoosh!

[Scene: New New York Public Library: Ancient Literature. The Big Brain's purple glow has turned green. It groans as Fry carries on reading.]

Fry: Take that! And that! This sentence I don't understand but take this one!

Big Brain: You have not won yet. [It's purple glow returns.] Each book in this room is a gateway to a mental realm and I shall take you there and imprison you forever.

[It zaps a book and Fry and Leela.]

Leela: Icky!

[Cut to: Herman Melville's Moby Dick. Leela and Fry are on a dinghy in the middle of the ocean.]

Fry: Where are we?

[They look around and see Captain Ahab and Queequeg on the boat with them.]

Ahab: A gold doubloon to the man who first spies the white whale.

[The Big Brain rams the side of the boat from the water.]

Queequeg: [pointing] Big whale over there.

Ahab: Arr! I saw it first!

[He pockets the gold and gives a shifty look. Fry is about to harpoon the brain when Queequeg grabs his arm.]

Queequeg: Wait! That no white whale. It grey, think-y whale!

Fry: Queequeg, let go of me! I have to kill it!

Big Brain: Farewell! You will all be trapped in this dense, symbolist tome forever!

[It dives.]

Fry: Follow him! It's our only way out!

[He dives in, followed by Ahab, Queequeg and Leela.]
[Cut to: New New York Public Library: Ancient Literature. Fry and Leela struggle in the purple glow. The Brain picks up another book.]
[Cut to: Mark Twain's The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer paints the fence and the characters from Moby Dick are with Fry and Leela.]

Fry: Excuse me, have you seen a giant brain?

Tom Sawyer: Yep. I let him help me whitewash Aunt Polly's fence.

[He pushes open the gate, revealing the Brain wearing a straw hat and painting the fence.]

Big Brain: Tom Sawyer, you tricked me. This is less fun than previously indicated. Let this corny slice of Americana be your tomb for all eternity.

Tom Sawyer: Please, no!

Fry: [shouting] Come on!

[They chase the Brain.]
[Cut to: New New York Public Library: Ancient Literature. The Brain picks up another book.]
[Cut to: Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Fry is at a stately banquet.]

Woman: Mr. Fry, Mama tells us you're quite the oddity; a bachelor at your age.

Fry: You think I'm an oddity? Wait'll you see--

[A door opens.]

Butler: Presenting the most eligible landowner in all Hertfordshire, Mr. Brainly.

[Enter the smartly-dressed Brain.]

Big Brain: I'm a gigantic brain!

[People murmur.]

Man #1: I say!

Man #2: Most un-gentleman-like!

Woman: Mr. Brainly, what news have you of the London season?

Big Brain: Well--

[Fry grabs Tom Sawyer's bucket.]

Fry: Hey, Brain-y! Think fast!

[He throws the whitewash at it.]

Big Brain: I always think fast.

[The whitewash hits it and it screams.]

Ahab: The whale! He be white now!

[He and Queequeg throw harpoons at it and it screams. Ahab breaks off his wooden leg and hits the Brain with it.]

Fry: Leela, I've got an idea. Stay here with Queequeg.

[He jumps out of the window. Leela looks at Queequeg and strokes her hair.]

Leela: Is there Mrs. Queequeg?

[Cut to: New New York Public Library: Ancient Literature. Fry pushes and struggles and breaks free of the Brain's glow.]

Fry: Yes! I'm free! [He begins to climb a bookcase. He stands on the top of it with a book in one hand. He grabs a light with the other.] Alright, Brain. Get ready for some electroshock treatment!

[He smashes the bulbs and swings on the light towards the Brain. He misses it by a mile and slams into a bookcase on the other side of the room. He falls to the floor and the bookcase falls on him, crushing him. Leela is freed from the glow. She sees Fry choking and screams.]

Leela: Fry, don't die! Wake up! [He dies.] [screaming] Nooo!

[The Brain laughs. The bookcase and Fry's dead body fade away. Leela is kneeling in the middle of the room and the Brain is still laughing. She looks around and hears Fry's voice. He is writing.]

Fry: [writing] Leela cried for her lost love as Fry lay dead under the heavy bookcase. The Big Brain laughed in triumph... [He laughs.] Then, for no reason, he left Earth forever. The end. [He closes the book.] There! [He writes "Fry Trick The Brain" on the cover.] Now he's trapped in a book I wrote; a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors.

Big Brain: The Big Brain am winning again. I am the greetest! [It laughs.] Now I am leaving Earth for no raeson!

[It squeezes through the window.]
[Cut to: Outside New New York Public Library. The Nibblonians watch and cheer.]

Nibbler: The Big Brain is defeated. Let what must be done be done.

[The Nibblonian soldiers eat the other brains that have fallen.]
[Cut to: New New York Public Library: Ancient Literature. Leela shakes her head as her intelligence returns.]

Leela: Me ... feel ... a bit better in cognitive faculties.

Fry: [jumping up] I did it! [He holds up a book and addresses the "camera".] And it's all thanks to the books at my local library.

[Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. The rest of the staff sleep as Hermes points to a chart showing the increase in employee sleep during meetings.]

Nibbler: [voice-over] And so life returned to normal, or as normal as it gets on this primitive dirtball inhabited by psychotic apes.

[Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Fry reads "Fry Trick The Brain" to Farnsworth but he dismisses it.]

Nibbler: [voice-over] Thanks to the effect of the brain rays, the people of Earth had no memory of what had transpired, except Fry, and no one believed him or cared what he had to say.

[Scene: Leela's Quarters. Leela lies on her bed stroking Nibbler, who is back in his cape.]

Nibbler: [voice-over] I, meanwhile, returned to my post, ever vigilant, lest Earth again come under Brain attack. And when that day comes, God help us. God help us all.

[Leela picks him up.]

Leela: Time for a diap-y change!

Nibbler: [voice-over] End transmission.

[Closing Credits.]